The Commitment to Change

Hi! I'm cheryl, a 31 yr old woman. I currently weigh 365lbs and I'm 5ft5. I've read a lot of weightloss blogs and in most of them I see people trying to make excuses about how ther let theirselve get so fat. Not me. I take full responcability for getting this way. I was lazy and I love food.. not a good combination at all.
All my life I've been a bigger girl. At the age of 12 I weighed 200+ pounds. By the time I was 16, I got into drugs very heavily. I did cocaine and crystal meth. The drugs took away my craving for food and gave me endless energy.At the time I didnt realize that it was also killing me. It turned me into a person that I didnt recognize...and I'm not refering to my reflection in the mirror.
At the age of 20 I went into rehab and kicked the drugs. At the time I thought it was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do in my life. Not true. In the last 11 yrs I've balooned into another person I dont recognize.. and this time I do mean my reflection. I never in a million years would have thought that I would weigh 365lbs! But here i am.
Today I am making a commitment to myself to lose the weight. I no longer want to be the fat girl with no friends.No longer will I be a shut in, sitting on the couch filling my life with the comforts of food. I beat a drug addiction, I quit smoking, and now it's time to get past this last hurdle in my life.I know I can do it.
I'm hopeful that a 1200 calorie diet and exercise regiment with a huge helping of will power and restraint will get the job done. I know it wont happen over night.I know that I will struggle at times and might even slip.So long as I get back up and dust myself off and keep trying how can I fail?
I will be doing all of this on a very low budget seeing as how I'm unemployed.I have no money to join a gym or aerobics class so I'll be relying on the step classes or aerobics I can find on television.Thank goodness I have a DVR. ;) I welcome and advice or tips you may be able to offer.I've never been a big exercise person so I'm not sure if I'm even know the correct way to do a lot of them.
As far as I'm concerned this is the first day of the rest of my life!!